Mommy Has Needs Too

Yes, she does. We do not become a needless woman capable of giving 100% of the time and receiving 0% of the time when we give birth. Nope, sorry, hope you weren't expecting that. 

Fact is, I need sleep. I need to shower regularly. I need time to myself, time with my girlfriends, time with the Lord, time at the gym. I'm not being high maintenance or unreasonable by needing these things. I'm just being... Me. Do I need to learn to not throw fits when things don't work out and I don't get these things? Yes. Do I need to grow in Christ-likeness and learn to become more selfless and attentive to the needs of my husband and daughter before my own? You bet. But somewhere in the past few decades there seems to have developed this mentality among white, Christian women that to be a good wife and mother (a Christ-loving wife and mother in particular) that you have to forget about all your needs, pretend they don't exist, and live only to serve your children and husband. 

Well I'm sorry, but I'm calling shenanigans on that. I am a wonderful work of God's creation - and He created me to glorify Him in everything I do. This includes how I look, how I take care of my body, how I relate to other women, and how I use my gifts (and my gifts are not limited to keeping a small child alive and happy and maneuvering pots an pans on a stove.) Check out the ever-referenced Proverbs 31 woman. Obviously she is giving priority to her family, but she's doing a whole heck of a lot of other things. Lets take a look:

--"she dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong" v.17 (CrossFit anyone?)

--"she considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard" v.16 (that's not a backyard garden people, that's called a business decision)

--"her clothing is fine linen and purple" v.22 (we're not talking oversized polos and ankle socks here!)

--"she opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" v.26 (which I bet she put to good use with these "maidens" frequently in this passage, not just with her husband and children)

There's a lot more. Read the passage and consider it for yourself. Obviously none of us are going to be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman, but there are principles at play in this passage that, in my opinion, have been ridiculously downplayed in modern Christian culture. This woman is reaching her full potential within the context of her family and without it. God is glorified in the many facets of her character that she has sought to master - her business sense, her relationships, her physical appearance, the physical condition of her body - not only in the way she cares for her family. 

So ladies, get out there. Be the amazon woman God made you to be. Don't ignore the call on your life to glorify Him in all you do. Look pretty. Get your butt to the gym. Explore the things that interest you. Develop your gifts and strengths and use them to glorify the God who gave them to you. By His grace as through His power, we will be able to do all that without forgetting our children at the grocery store and while managing to get dinner on the table every night. You know why? Because its what He created us to do. 

{rant over}

Divine Wisdom + Earthly Parenting

There are literally dozens of things that I love about being a mom. All of the clichés about it are true - "being a mom is the best job in the world", "there's no love like a mother's love", etc. One particular, non-cliché thing about parenting though is this: my Heavenly Father reveals Himself in wonderful, unique ways every day through me taking care if baby B. I feel like He has taken into account that right now I am busier and less organized than I have ever been in my life, and therefore He has wisely, graciously, mercifully chosen to display His glory to me daily through the things I am busy with. 

One of my new tasks is taking Brooklyn to the doctor regularly and making sure she gets all of her shots when she is supposed to. This is not fun. The last time we went she had to get a shot in each thigh and, believe me, she was not happy about it. She went from smiling to bright red-faced silent screaming in about half a second each time. Then I cried because my poor baby was so unhappy (Chris found that amusing, ha.) I picked her up immediately and rocked her and she quieted and was happy again after a pretty short period of time. I didn't like seeing her in pain from the shots but I also know its much better for her I feel the pain of a quick shot than it is for her to get something like measles or whooping cough. So I let her experience the pain of the shot and make sure that I'm right there to comfort her while she deals with that trauma. Isn't that so like our Father, though? How He let's us endure some hardships that we hate, things that make us cry out in pain/anger/frustration, etc. But He doesn't stop them, doesn't take them away.  Just like I am wiser and smarter than Brooklyn (for now), God is wiser and smarter than me. He has a plan, a reason for every bit of discomfort we go through in life. Nothing is accidental or out of His control, nothing is unnecessary. And when we're struggling He is always right there, ready and waiting to comfort us. This comfort is not the same as taking away the pain - but it reminds us of His love and constant presence. It soothes our soul in a way nothing else, not even the removal of the trial, could do. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

May I be faithful to remember these lessons, teach them to my children and, above all, learn to rejoice in every circumstance.

A Fine Line

We are almost 6 weeks into parenthood over here at 8109 and I'm starting to attempt the upstream swim back to "normal" - meal planning, cooking at home 6-7 nights a week, following my cleaning schedule to keep the house in order, working out 3 days a week (!), picking up more consulting work, etc. It seems, sometimes, like the to-do list is literally never ending - especially when you have to block off about 4 hours of your day for feeding a baby. I feel like our house is constantly a mess and that, in general, I'm just about a month behind with everything (which I probably am...)

As I'm attempting to tackle each day's mountain of things to do, though, I'm sensing that there is a fine line that I need to find and be conscious of. A fine line between needing some "normalcy" and routine and being so busy that I'm not enjoying these precious and quickly passing moments of baby B's life. There was one day last week when I was home alone with the little cutie all day - yet I found myself missing her and feeling like I hadn't spent any time with her by the time evening rolled around. I realized I hadn't cuddled her and played with her except to feed her - the rest of the day she had hung out (sleeping for the most part) on her bouncy seat and I had chipped away at that mountain of to-dos. That was a pretty shocking revelation. I had passed up snuggles and coos and smiles for...what? I can't even remember what was on the to-do list that day.

That's the real crux of it. On Brooklyn's first birthday I will not look back and glow with joy over how sparkly my floors were and how perfectly organized I kept my pantry. The things that will make me really joyful will be remembering her first smiles, her hilariously cute burps and toots, her first steps, first giggles, etc. True, I will be able to enjoy those things best when some sense of order is maintained in the house and when I'm taking care of myself as well as the little goober. But there is a fine line.

So, hello to a loose interpretation of clean, a wrinkly pile of clean clothes, and healthy meals so simple to make I could have a kindergartner do them. Life is good.

The Perils of Nursing

You're sitting up between 1 and 2 am nursing your newborn on the couch in your living room. You're exhausted, only partially awake and in general simply not fully functional because something about having a newborn mandates that you be tired, even when said newborn is giving you 8 hours of sleep every night. You don't really mind, though. It's just a season and these nighttime bonding sessions are 100% worth it.

So you're sitting there, baby and boppy pillow in lap, held in the perfect position for comfortable nursing for you and baby. You're surrounded by an odd assortment of things - a tube of lanolin cream, a mostly empty water bottle, quite a few snacks, the TV remote, extra burp cloths, etc. It takes skill to get up without completely disrupting your delicate system. And as you sit there, trying to defeat level 30 of Candy Crush Saga (having yet to master the art of reading while nursing), you notice something. A piece of dust is floating down between your iPhone and your eyes. A curiously brown piece of dust. With eight moving legs. Headed straight for a landing site on your baby.

Chaos ensues. You leap up, doing your "OMG get it off me, get it off me!" dance modeled directly after the blonde in Temple of Doom. Somehow, baby stays attached and unaware of the panic moment going on, but as you scramble around like a mad woman the open box of Mini Wheats tumbles to the floor, the open water bottle tips over and the tiny tube of lanolin somehow sinks into the recesses between couch cushions. In the end, you're pretty sure that the spider isn't on you, the baby, your seat or anything else you can see, so you sit back down and finish the session in a state of hyper-awareness, sure that every flickering movement is the nasty coming back for round two.

This happens two nights in a week. You decide it's time to change your nursing location and sacrifice your still-bruised tailbone on the wooden rocking chair in baby girl's room. No creepy crawlies have ever been spotted in there.

But what do you do when you run out of rooms in the apartment...?

Week One

I don't believe it, but my calendar probably is more reliable than my sense of time these days, so I guess baby B really is officially one week old today. I already can't imagine life without her, but I also can't see how that much time has passed... Please stop growing up little girl! I would keep you at this age forever if I could.

I can now officially join the masses of mothers who say things like "All the sleepless nights are 100% worth it, don't worry" and "You can't understand how much you're going to love your kids until you have them." It's true. I didn't know I could so instantaneously and completely love something(one) the way I love my daughter. I also understand what parents tell you about getting duped into having multiple children by the first one - our baby B certainly has us hooked! She's not fussy, she cuddles all the time, and she's even let me have 7 hours of sleep the past two nights in a row. She nurses like a champ and has since she was one hour old. Already daddy is saying things like "Lets have 14!" (It took her about 24 hours to have him completely wrapped around her little fingers.)

All-in-all, this is one of the top two life experiences yet - the other is being married. I love being married. I'm just as hooked on being a mom. I even left the hospital saying "That wasn't so bad... I'd do it again to have another one" - and that was after a 33 hour labor! (That sounds worse than it really was, I promise.)

For any other new moms or soon-to-be new moms - here's some stuff that I've found invaluable during these past seven days:

Swaddle blankets by Aden + Anais - I love these! They are a lightweight but warm material that breathes really well, so I don't have to worry about little girl getting too hot or too cold in them. Plus the material has the perfect amount of stretch to it so that daddy (the master swaddler in this house) can get a really snug wrap.

Swaddleme swaddler - Daddy is the master swaddler here, but I'm not so great at getting a tight fit. Since I don't want to wake him up every time I nurse in the middle of the night to re-wrap baby B, I switch her to this. It is perfect for late nights because it only takes about 10 seconds to get her in it, which equals less time for her to get really upset with me for fiddling with her, which means she can fall back asleep a lot more quickly. My only concern is that the material is pretty lightweight, so I'm not sure it would be warm enough in the winter months.

Boppy pillow - Even though baby B nurses like a pro, I've found this pillow extremely useful. It keeps my arms from getting so tired when I nurse/hold her and also makes it easy to lay her down and adjust things when I switch sides with her while nursing. Also - to you soon-to-be moms out there - it's a comfy thing to sit on the first few days after labor if you're not using it for nursing. Just sayin'.

Keeping my fingers crossed that time slows down and week 2 takes longer to pass - I want to cherish every single second of this period of our little one's life. Even the 2 a.m. feedings.

When I Grow Up

I just finished reading My Life in France, Julia Child's autobiography and am now sitting here, distracting myself from pregnancy by watching "Julie and Julia". And I have decided, I want to be just like Julia Child when I grow up.

Obviously she enjoyed food, but after reading more about her life it's clear that Julia's happiness went much deeper than just an obsession with butter and good pastry crust. She and her husband lived on a government salary in the 1940s and 50s in France, and that wasn't much. They didn't have fancy things, they didn't have copious amounts of extra income. They were comfortable, but they were not wealthy to say the least. Somehow, though, Julia's life is marked by a complete and total joie de vivre. Her life was characterized by simple things - cooking classes, teaching herself to cook, dinner parties with friends, exploring Paris. She loved having new cooking things, yes, but it was more what she created with her cooking accoutrements that she loved than the particular items herself. Basically, she wasn't materialistic. It was her achievements in the kitchen and the people she got to share them with that made her life bright.

Julia wasn't half-hearted in anything that she did. She put everything she had into enjoying every experience she could find and she went all-out with it all. She tested every recipe she wrote scientifically, she learned how to buy every grocery item like a true French chef. She was devoted to her husband and her close friends. She never stopped seeking to learn and grow and find new experiences - her famous Mastering the Art of French Cooking wasn't even published until she was 51! She worked on her TV show and published books well into her 80s. She never caved into the idea that she had to stop living because she was no longer "young".

I want to find my greatest joy in good times with friends and family, in growing spiritually and intellectually and relationally. Even if we're eating at an old table with burn marks and two broken chairs, I want that table to be surrounded by laughter and happiness as Chris and I and our children and hopefully guests eat and drink and be merry. And I do not want to get caught up in the mentality that the best thing about retirement is that you get to shut down and stop doing things and live at the beach. When I hit 50, I want to be taking classes because, hey, why not? I want to be writing books, even if I still haven't gotten published (whew. that's a depressing thought.) I want to be active in people's lives and developing as a human being. I want to have goals that I'm working towards. You're never too old for that.

I think my life will be a simple life. But I intend to make it a great life.

Gone Paleo

The paleo diet is having a frenzied popularity spurt it seems. Half the people we know seem to either be doing paleo, or have done it, or at least know about it and understand the principles. Chris, being the unofficial Crossfit machine that he is, couldn't pass up this intriguing new facet of whole-life fitness, so, we've gone paleo.

No carbs (almond flour/coconut flour are OK.) No sugar (except honey and maple syrup.) Tons of veggies and fresh fruit. Almond butter, not peanut butter. Almonds everywhere actually. Lots of meat - but in appropriate portion sizes. No dairy - almond milk is our substitute of choice. Sweet potatoes, but no white potatoes. Lots and lots of bacon and eggs. That's the gist of how Chris has been eating for the past 30+ days. And, after a week to ten days of serious sugar/carb withdrawal, he, the man who would eat a dozen cookies in a single sitting without batting an eye, has loved every minute of the "diet" and has lost 20lbs in 30 days to boot.

I haven't completely joined Chris in his pursuit of paleo, mostly because I'm growing a person and along with that, I've grown a sweet tooth of monumental proportions that I don't really care to get rid of yet. Plus, I've only got 14 days to go. Might as well enjoy a last hurrah of sugar. But afterwards, I'm going to go half paleo. I'll keep some dairy and some carbs in my diet, but limit it like crazy, and continue to cook only paleo for our main meals. As much as I'll miss chocolate chip cookies, I'm excited about this. For one, it will help me lose baby weight (which I'm very interested in) and for another, I know that it will fuel my body and make sure that both me and baby B are getting the nutrition we need. I'll feel better and have more energy than I would on a carb-filled, processed snacking diet. I'm also partially doing it in reaction to articles like this which just make me angry. I don't like being a victim of product marketing/manipulation, and I don't like the idea that I'm addicted to anything (except caffeine. Mmmm coffee....) There's lots of scientific evidence out there that sugar, fat and salt are addicting, especially in processed foods. So buh-bye processed foods!

Anyway. In our quest for good nutrition that still tastes good I've stumbled upon this recipe. Want to satisfy a bread craving without breaking paleo, and get lots of protein and other goodness out of it? Bake these.

Almond Flour Biscuits

(photo and recipe discovered on Roost Blog via Pinterest. roostblog.com) 

Ingredients:                                                        Method:

2 1/2 cups almond flour                                     Combine almond flour, salt, baking soda.

1/2 teaspoon salt                                               Whisk together the oil and honey. Microwave for 30

1/2 teaspoon baking soda                                          seconds on high to thin the honey.

2 eggs                                                               Beat together the honey/oil mixture and eggs. Add to dry.

1/4 cup oil                                                         Drop 1/4 cup dollops of batter onto greased baking sheet.

1/4 cup honey                                                   Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes.

I also usually drizzle the biscuits with honey before baking them (to give a little extra sweetness) and have found that 17 minutes is the perfect baking time. Yumm!