You're sitting up between 1 and 2 am nursing your newborn on the couch in your living room. You're exhausted, only partially awake and in general simply not fully functional because something about having a newborn mandates that you be tired, even when said newborn is giving you 8 hours of sleep every night. You don't really mind, though. It's just a season and these nighttime bonding sessions are 100% worth it.
So you're sitting there, baby and boppy pillow in lap, held in the perfect position for comfortable nursing for you and baby. You're surrounded by an odd assortment of things - a tube of lanolin cream, a mostly empty water bottle, quite a few snacks, the TV remote, extra burp cloths, etc. It takes skill to get up without completely disrupting your delicate system. And as you sit there, trying to defeat level 30 of Candy Crush Saga (having yet to master the art of reading while nursing), you notice something. A piece of dust is floating down between your iPhone and your eyes. A curiously brown piece of dust. With eight moving legs. Headed straight for a landing site on your baby.
Chaos ensues. You leap up, doing your "OMG get it off me, get it off me!" dance modeled directly after the blonde in Temple of Doom. Somehow, baby stays attached and unaware of the panic moment going on, but as you scramble around like a mad woman the open box of Mini Wheats tumbles to the floor, the open water bottle tips over and the tiny tube of lanolin somehow sinks into the recesses between couch cushions. In the end, you're pretty sure that the spider isn't on you, the baby, your seat or anything else you can see, so you sit back down and finish the session in a state of hyper-awareness, sure that every flickering movement is the nasty coming back for round two.
This happens two nights in a week. You decide it's time to change your nursing location and sacrifice your still-bruised tailbone on the wooden rocking chair in baby girl's room. No creepy crawlies have ever been spotted in there.
But what do you do when you run out of rooms in the apartment...?
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